Yes, I actually went camping.

Well, in the back garden, but its a start.

About a month ago we decided to look for tent .

 Now, everyone, well, mostly everyone, have always said that I don't like camping because of the roughing it, and where would I plug my hair dryer and straighteners etc but if truth be told, and I am going to tell the truth, I am scared of the dark.  Which is why I have lots of lights left on when I go to bed, I know this is not environmentally friendly, but I do do my bit (do do?). \But I am scared of everything there is to be scared of when it is dark. Bogeymen, burglars, bats, owls (they sound scary) creaks, wolves, foxes, and of course everything that I cant see, that I just know is waiting to get me the minute I poke my head out from under the duvet.

Bored with going on about that now - but I have been camping before, with Mike when I was 26 (pre kids)  and we camped at Camelford which I did not realise until I got there was practically on Bodmin Moor - and we all know what lives there - The Beast.  I was quite scared.

But camping with Mike and the kids out in the garden was a real treat, and I am looking forward to going camping, for two whole days in a week or so.

The above tent was £10 from the local reclamation centre - in good condition too.

We have also been to Trago - bit of a nightmare there as it was heaving, couldn't find what we wanted but did enjoy a ride on the steam train

On Friday we met up with friends and went on the Roman Wall Walk - very interesting.  Had a picnic first on the Cathedral Green, then started on the walk. We managed half of it, so will go back and do the other half another time.

 Our guide telling us where we have to go :-)

 Rougemont Castle

 Where the Moat would have been.

Although not strictly part of the wall, the castle was

an important part of the city’s defences. Built in 1068

following the Norman siege of Exeter, it established a

foothold of control for the Normans over the previously

rebellious citizens of Exeter. This gatehouse is the

oldest standing castle building in Britain.

 This isn't part of the Roman Walk, but had to mention it - a famous pigeon

Ah, at last, a photo of The Roman Wall.

-

Hope you all have a good week.
Louise Jane x

Lots of change

Well, a bit of change.

New HE Groups - planning a Group for September, also Becky and Danny will be able to start their Spanish and Science lessons again next term at a new venue on a different day.   Becky started back at Singing this week, new venue, with her favourite singing teacher Jackie Oates.

Other Changes - may be putting our house up for sale.

So, other news - Mike passed the level one course in Rugby Coaching.  He spent two days in Taunton completing this,and he only ached for one day afterwards, got a few injuries though.  Also in his one to one with the coach, he was told that he wasn't loud enough, and probably needed to raise his voice a bit more to be heard - my local friends will see the irony in this :-)

Popped in to see HE  friend yesterday, for a quick coffee -  James was totally distraught when we had to leave as L's room is chocca fool of wonderful toys. 

Athletics - Danny continued with Discus Practice and Becky did the Long Jump.  Not a lot of opportunity for Sprints for her at the moment, so may take her to the track for a session, just to give her some idea of what her times are, as it has been two years since she last ran in a competition.

Danny has been told he is allowed to throw in the under 15's discus competition coming up, just got the email through this morning, so will ask him if he is up to it, and will also see if Becky is up for the 100m sprint, unfortunately the last time she ran she fell over and hurt her knee quite badly, so she is nervous about falling over again, but she did really enjoy sprinting - its knowing whether to push her in this area or not!

So, Wednesday today, and Mike is back at work after a 10 day break,  group for us, first time in a while.

Have a good day
Lou x

The Bitter Homeschooler's Wish List

by Deborah Markus, from Secular Homeschooling, Issue #1, Fall 2007

1 Please stop asking us if it's legal. If it is — and it is — it's insulting to imply that we're criminals. And if we were criminals, would we admit it?
2 Learn what the words "socialize" and "socialization" mean, and use the one you really mean instead of mixing them up the way you do now. Socializing means hanging out with other people for fun. Socialization means having acquired the skills necessary to do so successfully and pleasantly. If you're talking to me and my kids, that means that we do in fact go outside now and then to visit the other human beings on the planet, and you can safely assume that we've got a decent grasp of both concepts.
3 Quit interrupting my kid at her dance lesson, scout meeting, choir practice, baseball game, art class, field trip, park day, music class, 4H club, or soccer lesson to ask her if as a homeschooler she ever gets to socialize.
4 Don't assume that every homeschooler you meet is homeschooling for the same reasons and in the same way as that one homeschooler you know.
5 If that homeschooler you know is actually someone you saw on TV, either on the news or on a "reality" show, the above goes double.
6 Please stop telling us horror stories about the homeschoolers you know, know of, or think you might know who ruined their lives by homeschooling. You're probably the same little bluebird of happiness whose hobby is running up to pregnant women and inducing premature labor by telling them every ghastly birth story you've ever heard. We all hate you, so please go away.
7 We don't look horrified and start quizzing your kids when we hear they're in public school. Please stop drilling our children like potential oil fields to see if we're doing what you consider an adequate job of homeschooling.
8 Stop assuming all homeschoolers are religious.
9 Stop assuming that if we're religious, we must be homeschooling for religious reasons.
10 We didn't go through all the reading, learning, thinking, weighing of options, experimenting, and worrying that goes into homeschooling just to annoy you. Really. This was a deeply personal decision, tailored to the specifics of our family. Stop taking the bare fact of our being homeschoolers as either an affront or a judgment about your own educational decisions.
11 Please stop questioning my competency and demanding to see my credentials. I didn't have to complete a course in catering to successfully cook dinner for my family; I don't need a degree in teaching to educate my children. If spending at least twelve years in the kind of chew-it-up-and-spit-it-out educational facility we call public school left me with so little information in my memory banks that I can't teach the basics of an elementary education to my nearest and dearest, maybe there's a reason I'm so reluctant to send my child to school.
12 If my kid's only six and you ask me with a straight face how I can possibly teach him what he'd learn in school, please understand that you're calling me an idiot. Don't act shocked if I decide to respond in kind.
13 Stop assuming that because the word "home" is right there in "homeschool," we never leave the house. We're the ones who go to the amusement parks, museums, and zoos in the middle of the week and in the off-season and laugh at you because you have to go on weekends and holidays when it's crowded and icky.
14 Stop assuming that because the word "school" is right there in homeschool, we must sit around at a desk for six or eight hours every day, just like your kid does. Even if we're into the "school" side of education — and many of us prefer a more organic approach — we can burn through a lot of material a lot more efficiently, because we don't have to gear our lessons to the lowest common denominator.
15 Stop asking, "But what about the Prom?" Even if the idea that my kid might not be able to indulge in a night of over-hyped, over-priced revelry was enough to break my heart, plenty of kids who do go to school don't get to go to the Prom. For all you know, I'm one of them. I might still be bitter about it. So go be shallow somewhere else.
16 Don't ask my kid if she wouldn't rather go to school unless you don't mind if I ask your kid if he wouldn't rather stay home and get some sleep now and then.
17 Stop saying, "Oh, I could never homeschool!" Even if you think it's some kind of compliment, it sounds more like you're horrified. One of these days, I won't bother disagreeing with you any more.
18 If you can remember anything from chemistry or calculus class, you're allowed to ask how we'll teach these subjects to our kids. If you can't, thank you for the reassurance that we couldn't possibly do a worse job than your teachers did, and might even do a better one.
19 Stop asking about how hard it must be to be my child's teacher as well as her parent. I don't see much difference between bossing my kid around academically and bossing him around the way I do about everything else.
20 Stop saying that my kid is shy, outgoing, aggressive, anxious, quiet, boisterous, argumentative, pouty, fidgety, chatty, whiny, or loud because he's homeschooled. It's not fair that all the kids who go to school can be as annoying as they want to without being branded as representative of anything but childhood.
21 Quit assuming that my kid must be some kind of prodigy because she's homeschooled.
22 Quit assuming that I must be some kind of prodigy because I homeschool my kids.
23 Quit assuming that I must be some kind of saint because I homeschool my kids.
24 Stop talking about all the great childhood memories my kids won't get because they don't go to school, unless you want me to start asking about all the not-so-great childhood memories you have because you went to school.
25 Here's a thought: If you can't say something nice about homeschooling, shut up!

More about Issue #1

Hubbies 40th Birthday

Yes, he has now joined me in the "40 is the new 20 because 60 is the new 40" club.

We had planned to go out for the day as a family, but because the weather forecast has been grim for most of thel week, we decided to decide on the day.  I was not prepared, however, for it to be raining, as that is what the forecasters had predicted three days earlier, and I ignored them.

So, after we had given him all of his presents (bar one - bloody e-bay, negative feedback on way) mainly Cd's and rugby books and rugby tops, we went out for breakfast.

Still raining.

Came home and decided to get on a train, which is a novelty for Mike, and headed off to Barnstaple on the Tarka Line, which follows the  river valleys of the Yeo and Taw. From Eggesford to Barnstaple the line forms part of the Tarka Trail, a 180 mile long distance route tracing the journeys of 'Tarka the Otter' in Henry Williamson's classic novel.

When we got to Barnstaple it had stopped raining and looked brighter and we went onto the museum, with collections and displays that cover the natural and human history of  North Devon, which  include the Tarka Gallery, the Story of North Devon and the Regimental Collection of the Royal Devon Yeomanry.

 :-

Then a walk alongside the river then  onto Rocks Park

Back on the train - starts to rain again - and onto my parents house for birthday take-away and Birthday Cake (Spanish Fruit Cake that I made with my boys as it is his fav - Beks made choccy muffins - her speciality).

Home, with a very tired Jamsey, so I had to take him straight up to bed, while the others watched Gulliver's Travels which apparently was very good, and I got on with blogging about my Happiness Project

Lovely day all round, and guess what, now it has stopped raining.

Hope you all have a good weekend
Lou x

Happiness Project - June - Research

Happiness Project for June - Spending more quality time with my children.

One of the books  that Gretchen Rubin mentions in her Happiness Project is St Therese Lisieux.  I read her Biography last year, - her philosophy was that; what was important was not doing great works, but doing little things with the power of love.

This is something I have been trying to put into action towards my spending more quality time with my children.


Also I have been reading Parenting is Heart Work by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller.

From the book

"Sometimes family life becomes very familiar, and people stop greeting or acknowledging each other. Hugging your children as part of a greeting or welcoming them to breakfast in the morning makes an important statement about the value of your relationship"

Also Rob Parsons talks about the importance of communication, and making sure we spend time talking and listening to our children in one of the chapters in his book The Sixty Minute Family

He suggests having family meals around the table.  Stephen R Covey talks about this in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families

"We all have to eat. The way to the heart, the mind, the soul is often through the stomach. It takes careful thought and determination but its possible to organize meaningful mealtimes - without television, without just gulping things down on the run. Family meals are important even if you have one family meal each week"

So what gets in all the way of this family stuff - is it so I can go out and "do lunch" with my lady friends, have a long luxurious bubble bath, have my hair done, have a manicure, pedicure, Brazilian wax (ouch)?!

No, its just stuff, and lots of it.  Three Kids, a husband, a house, pets, cooking, finances, Home Educating, talking on the phone, facebook, blogging, rubbing hard skin off your feet, sorting out squabbles and on and on.  Which is why it is good to follow the advice of Ms Lisieux  and try and remember the little things.

So with housework being the main thing that eats up all of my time and gets in the way of all the nice stuff, I thought this passage from Richard Carlson in Don't Sweat the Small Stuff was relevant to my cause:-

"One day it dawned on me that taking care of a home is much like painting the Golden Gate Bridge, and thinking of it in these terms has been an enormous relief in my life. 
Like most people, I used to get overwhelmed about the care and  maintenance of our home, If something was in  need of repair or disoriented, it would make me nervous and frustrated.  Looking back , it seems that I was frustrated  most of the time, because it seemed like something was always wrong with our home. It was if I felt that there would come a time when it would somehow  all be done, and I fantasized, when it was finally finished, I'd be able to feel relaxed and satisfied.
Well, several years later the house is still "in process" there are still jobs to be done and in a way its exactly like the Golden Gate Bridge. Its never done - and it never will be.  My guess is that if you look at your home in this way it will be a tremendous source of relief.  In all likelihood, you ll have even great appreciation for the things that do get finished and less frustration over the things that don't"

This is good for me to remember, as I am always finding lots of things to do and getting stressed out because of it.  I like to go out a lot with the children, because while I am out they have my attention and I am not distracted by a dirty wall, or a window that needs cleaning

In the Continuum concept, she said that you need to be able to get on with your jobs for the day and your children should learn to be able to keep themselves occupied (she is not talking about tiny tots here)  If they are toddlers/pre-schoolers then you will have to slow down and involve them in what you are doing, be it baking, cleaning, gardening etc.

Also from my daily emails - The Daily Grove from Enjoy Parenting -

:Having a "bad parenting day"?

Whatever you're stressing about -- your child won't
stop whining... you're way behind on the laundry...
the baby nursed "all" night long... you yelled at the
kids *again*... etc., etc. -- remember there are two
components to every problem:
    1. The actual condition
    2. Your *belief* that it IS a problem
In other words, you don't *have to* perceive the
condition to be wrong or bad.
Would a baby see your mountain of dirty laundry as a
problem? No, because wee ones see the world AS IT IS.
They haven't been trained (yet) to pass judgment on
Reality, so they don't see the problems we see.
Well, if a baby can do it, you can, too! :-)
Today, try letting go of the idea that conditions
"should" be different than they are. Simply accept
them...
"No problem... It is what it is."
But don't confuse acceptance with defeat. You can be
accepting and still desire change. And change happens
*easily* when you're at peace with What Is.

More advice really on not worrying about having a perfect house.lifestyle etc, - its just a case of trying your best and not feeling guilty when you don't get everything done and you don't get everything right.

Lysa Terkeurst, mother of five, mentions this in her book - "Am I Messing Up My Kids" - she thinks its time that mothers relax and  let go of guilt.

But it is difficult.

When I am trying to get everything done,  if, in the middle of something I am trying to complete, whether it is the washing, cleaning the toilet, cooking a meal - whatever,  one of my children start to complain or need something done, bicker, moan etc,  my patience starts to wear thin, and 9 times out of 10 I do not deal with them fairly or in a nice calm gentle way.

Then I go through the whole rigmarole of telling them how I just want to get the washing/cleaning/cooking done, and of course I mention that no-one else is going to do it, and cant she/he/they just occupy themselves for 5 minutes until I get it done.  Well, for one thing it is usually way more than 5 minutes.

Usually most adults will overreact if someone has touched upon a nerve.  So when my children come to me with a problem or a question or a request, I know deep down that I should give them my attention  and so my guilty conscience makes me react in this unkind way.

So, remembering "the little things" would it really be so bad to just put the laundry basket down and stop - how important is my washing pile to my own children.  Easier said then done though.  But I would like to try.

 I do think it is a good idea to get your children involved in helping out around the house, and with anything else that you feel you really have to get done.  Becky and Danny get pocket money and we have juat increased it. We have made it clear that they have to do their chores in order to get their pocket moneyand they also have to do it with a good heart  - ie no huffing, puffing, sneering, tutting, walking round with sagging shoulders like I have asked them to walk on hot coals, rolling eyes or complaining.

But it would be nice if they co-operated with me,rather than me threatening to take away their pocket money.  So am I dealing with it in the right way?

Which brings me on to a book I am currently reading - Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn

Children and Choices - "All people ought to have some control in their own lives. In the case of children, of course, there are limits to how much control and what kind; plenty of things have to be decided for them, particularly when they are young.  But that doesn't negate the basic principal.  I believe our default position ought to be  to make kids make decisions about matters that concern them except when there is a compelling reason for us to override that right.  We should be prepared to justify, why, in each case, kids shouldn't be allowed to choose".

So, I will try and think about giving them more control and more choices, maybe along the lines of:

you don't have to do all the chores I ask of you, but you can maybe do only some of them and not get as much pocket money
or
give them a choice of 2 or 3 chores so they can pick what they would like to to do.

I also remember years ago, a fellow home edder, now turned schooly, having a set amount for activities each month for her children to do. She said it was up to her children to decide what it was to be spent on, within reason of course.  Maybe I will do this in relation to what trips they choose to go on each month.

So, enough research , now its time to try and put these things into action, and I will record my experience here during the rest of June.
Just a thought though - In the Continuum Concept, she mentions that it is strange that we just do not get on and mother our children in the best way we know how as human beings, but rely on books to teach us how to do this, usually written by a man.

Hmmmm


Lou x

Weekly Round Up

Let me see -

Friday 10th

We met up with some other home eddy friends and braved the weather and went to Teignmouth.

Lovely train journey along the coast, arrived at lunchtime and sat in the park for a picnic.  Bit windy, a few showers, savage seagulls, but apart from that we all had  a nice time:-

Spot the Home Edders :-)

Then we went to Teignouth Museum

Here they are watching a short film about the History of Teignmouth - a story of sea and land, of war and peace, of interactions with far off places and developments of domestic industries.  

Lots of Weaponry - apparently Teignmouth was twice burned by the French and hammered by German bombs in the war..

Much scarier than Hitler - Punch and Judy - oh the nightmares they gave me as a child  "That's the way to do it!"  AGGHHHGHHHH

Lots more interesting stuff there - but of course the Pier was calling us - penny slot machines and MORE scary puppet shows - they all had a great time though and we had a nice train ride home.

Weekend - Well, we went to Bicton College Open Day - less said about that the better, as I haven't got time to rant.

Sunday - Out and about, getting jobs done (I sound like Bob The Builder) visit to my parents then home for a roast.

Monday - The electrician came round in the morning, took longer than we thought so didn't get to the Teignbridge Group on time - well, we actually got there 5 minutes before it ended.  Still had a game of cricket on the beach, paddled in the ice cold sea and collected shells.

Tuesday - Indented to go to pottery but we arrived early and no one was there so we headed off to Exmouth for a game of Crazy Golf.  Then onto Budleigh for Ice-Cream and a walk along the beach, which if you are wearing flip flops really hurts as it is very pebbly.  Looked in on my aunt who gave us tons and tons of really good books for the kids, then after James had made her tortoise do a roly poly, we headed back into Exeter.  Mike had to get new trainers in the town centre, then we went to my parents before going to Athletics.

They both did really well, Becky attempted hurdles for the first time, she was a bit nervous but the coach was really good (Becky also towered above him, I hadn't realised she had grown so tall).
Danny was exceptional in the discus, throwing around 20m - not bad for a 10 year old.

Yesterday - DIY Day, well, for Mike anyway.  I went into Exeter with James to sort out a few things for Mikes birthday.  Was strange going in and not going into the group - but to be honest, I am not missing it that much, just miss how it used to be be, and also my head is about to explode with trying to understand what on EARTH is going on with some people.  Oh well.

Today - Lots of talk on the phone about a new group for the Autumn, and a possible new singing group for Becky. So looking up in that area of HE.

Now - not sure whether to go to athletics, Danny wants to practice discus again, but I have a birthday cake to make, and James is still napping.  What to do?

Anyway - hope you are all having a good week.
Lou x