Having almost finished the book I thought a good time to start my own Happiness Project would be June - half way through the year and the start of British Summertime.
So - one of my resolutions are:-
1. To spend more time with my children.
Now, obviously as I am a home educating mum, I spend all day with my children, but sometimes at the end of each day when they are all fast asleep, I sit and |think about how much time I have really spent connecting with any of my children and giving them the attention they need, and usually I feel I have failed and I feel really down.
One of the first things I would like to do it research this topic - I have recently read that:-
You can give your child too much attention and it will do them more harm than good (this does not include children age 0-3).
Just being around your children all day isn't enough and that you have to make "play dates" with them.
You have to get down to their level and play their games, even if you hate it.
Initially I had my older two children in mind, as they do not get as much attention from me as James does, but then I also realised how little time I spent with James actually playing.
Onto James - he does take up a lot of our time. But of course this isn't his fault. From when he had his first seizure at age 2 and a half and being diagnosed as having Epilepsy, to being seizure free and having controlled Epilepsy at age 3 and a half, in that year our lives were not only put on hold, but they were totally centered around James.
Most people will not understand the terror of seeing your child have a seizure, and I don't really want to go into that right now, but the fear of him having one took over all of our lives. The Specialist told us that one of the things that could cause a seizure would be if he doesn't get his own way and gets upset.
So you can imagine what we were like with him.
Also I know that I have babied him more than I did the other two, and I would say that although James is very forward for his age, in his actions, his speech etc I would say emotionally he is a year behind.
I am pretty sure too, that had he not had this, I would not still be breastfeeding him at age 4. Not that this is a bad thing of course, but I think he would have stopped before now.
So, consequently, James is used to a lot of attention, but not in a spoilt demanding way, it is just the lifestyle that he has become used to. My older two children have always spent a lot of time playing with him, and so has Mike, and we are trying to get him used to playing on his own sometimes, not shut away in a room on his own of course, but just trying to get him engaged in his own form of play.
It is a work in progress I have to tell you. But this has happened and we are dealing with it in the best way we can.
Which brings me back to how much time I spend with my children. With James he much prefers to play with his brother or sister and his dad, rather than me as they are much more fun, but one thing I do more with him is art and craft, so will concentrate on this area.
Becky - at the age she is I think it is really important for me to take an interest in all the talks about make up, hair, soaps, nails etc but I would like to find something more than this.
Danny - I think he had found it difficult, but has coped extremely well, with the arrival of James, taking his place of being not only the youngest child, but also not being the only boy anymore . On top of this the extra time I have spent with James this last 18 months has also left him feeling a bit pushed out. So I would really like to form some kind of interest with him - but not quite sure what.
All in all - to put my firs resolution of June into action I would like to:-
Stop Look and Listen - I have noticed that sometimes I don't even look at my children when they are talking to me, and I very rarely stop, therefore I am not really listening.
Find one activity for each child that only I can do with them.
Research The Continuum Concept and Parenting advice at Enjoy Parenting
Lou x
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