I noticed that a some of my other blog reads having been posting "A Day in the Life of Me" so I thought I would do the same, but do it for a week, as I am trying to get into proper routinese, especially with James now the children are at school, and although we have some kind of routine going on, I feel it needs tweaking.
So today Thursday 16th February 2012 (11 days til my Birthday).
5.30am I awake.
5.45am Mike;s alarm goes off, he gets up for work. Brings me the laptop and a milky coffee
6am James wakes up, Laptop goes off.
I then get up with James, Mike leaves for work, I find something for James to watch on the TV while I start on the first lot of laundry. I then feed the cats, make a cup of tea for James and me, then make a start on breakfast, (leaving the part out about being short of milk) and now Danny is up.
So while the boys are eating their breakfast and watching cartoon X-men, I clean up the spaghettie that fell out of the cupboard onto my head (this is because I was trying to stop the vinegar bottle from falling on my head - spagetti was the lighter option). James of course wanted to play with the dried spaghetti, therefore the said spaghetti was spread from the kitchen, through the dining room and into the living room.
I then hoover, not usually something I do this time of the morning (it is now around 8) but we have a spaghetti carpet.
James has his meds around 8.30am, once this has been done I feel 85% more relaxed and ready to face the day, the spaghetti incident behind me.
I go upstairs, and leave the boys playing Gladiators. I make a start on putting the laundry away whilst watching Fraiser. In the meantime Becky wakes up, plonks herself on my bed and watches Fraiser too.
Home Delivery Shopping is due from 9-11 and I have based our morning around it arriving at 10.55, like it normally does. In the middle of me putting away clothes, the door bell rings. Its 8.55 - Tesco shopping, would you Adam and Eve it is early.
I put all the shopping away and then attempt to help James get dressed, He is still under the weather and full of cold. He is also tired as he was very upset at not seeing much of his Dad yesterday because Mike was on a split, and in between his shifts he had to get the exhaust fixed as it went that morning. Consequently Mike was home for a mere 20 minutes yesterday. So, James stayed up late to wait up for him.
This didnt look good for a day shopping for clothes in Exeter, so I snuggled up in bed with James and he had a nap, waking up..... . So I looked at my emails, checked my online banking and blog hopped.
Thursday 16 February 2012
How I spent St Valentines day, plus a few tips on marriage (not from me of course lol)
St Valentines Day
It was Mikes day off today anyway, which was handy as he whisked me off to Paris for a Romantic Dinner for two...........not.
Although it is nice to do something romantic on this day, it ain't always possible when you have a family, so it is nice to celebrate the day and do nice things together(although I did wear my special red underwear to mark the occasion ;-)
Moving on.
As explained on previous post, we planned on a visit to the Cinema, something we haven't done for a while, and even though we have two children in school, we still prefer to stay away from all the Children's attractions during half term, still getting used to having to visit places when there are tons of other kids around, so we felt the Cinema was probably the least chaotic place.
Anyway, we went to see Tin Tin The Secret of the Unicorn which was very good, and only cost £4.50 for all five of us to get in, special half term offer. Then as we had vouchers on the back of a receipt we went to Kentucky, a favourite for the kids.
Home in the afternoon, tidy up time for a viewing, which went well, but never really can tell whether viewers are interested or not.
In the evening we had James's new favourite dish, Chinese, followed by chocolates that Mike had bought me in a heart shaped box.
We decided not to get a present for each other though, but the chocs were eaten by all of us. We also made our own cards using materials from James's Art and Craft set. Mike did print me out this certificate too
Lol!
I read this wonderful post over at The Happiest Mom about marriage - thought it was worth sharing:-
Six ways to let go of resentments, move past old hurts, and forgive
1) Look at the big picture.
Yes, it’s crazy-making when your significant other doesn’t clean up after himself, or forgets over and over what time the kids’ school bus comes, or overdraws the checking account, or (insert whatever irresponsible or frustrating thing he does here.)
But I have found that I tend to see the stuff that’s right in front of me, and the things in my sphere of notice tend to be: children, cleanliness of house, work.
Jon’s sphere looks different. He notices things like whether there are batteries in the house and whether I’ve updated the security on my computer and whether or not the car has gas. I might not always notice his contributions because they aren’t in my sphere of priority. But that doesn’t mean his sphere doesn’t matter, too.
Our household responsibilities are not always divided up 50/50, and I think it’s unrealistic to expect they ever will be. Life just isn’t neat and tidy like that. Instead, sometimes I give more, and sometimes he gives more. There are a lot of little ways my husband chooses to make my life easier, without complaint, and a lot of stresses he takes on to make our lives better, whether I notice them or not. Sometimes it’s good to take a minute to notice.
2) Be first to apologise.
“But why should I apologise when he’s the one who…”
Because you’ll feel better after you do. Freer. Nicer. Happier.
Because even if you truly believe he’s wrong-er, chances are good you’re at least a little bit wrong, too.
Because apologies tend to have a thawing effect on those cold little hard-packed snowballs of resentment and anger we carry around.
Because if you apologise there is a very good chance he’ll stop feeling the need to clench up and defend himself and throwing his own icy snowballs.
It’s so hard to apologise, especially when we aren’t sure the other person deserves it. But the way I look at it, the apology isn’t just for them, it’s also for me. I need to recognise and acknowledge the part I played so I can move past it.
3) Ask yourself if this will matter in two days, ten days, a year, or ten years.
I’m guessing 90% of the time, it won’t even matter in two hours.
4) Let your spouse be who he is today, not who he was last month, last year, or last decade.
I have an issue with one of Dr. Phil’s favourite sayings: “The best indicator of future behaviour is past behaviour.” He may be right in a technical, cynical sense, but constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop doesn’t allow us to give others space to change and grow, and it robs us of the ability to trust. I’m not suggesting we all stick our heads in the sand, look past truly heinous behaviour, or allow abusive patterns to continue, but at some point, if somebody is obviously trying and making changes, (even small, slow ones) we have to make a choice to trust unless faced with information that suggests we shouldn’t.
I believe that when you are really in tune with your instincts, you’ll know, on a gut level, if something major is off. Otherwise, go with the information you have at hand, today, right now. Refusing to allow somebody to change, or refusing to acknowledge that change out of fear, is no way to live or share a life with another human.
5) Choose your perspective.
Nobody can make you feel like a maid unless you choose to.
Your spouse’s failure to do the dishes does not necessarily mean he disrespects you.
It’s fair to notice and point out that the dishes aren’t done, but assigning a motive, or accusing others of casting us in a role we’ve created just breeds resentment.
6) Consider the alternatives.
The real alternatives, not the fantasy ones you’ve created in your head.
So, it’s totally unfair that your spouse keeps skipping out on the laundry. You keep talking, griping, pleading; but still, the piles grow and he doesn’t even seem to notice. What are your basic choices?
Which is most likely to make you happy?
If you think it through carefully and the answer is still “divorce him,” I’d suggest the problem is not really the laundry. Or the unmade bed. Or the dozens of other little things we use as scapegoats for what’s really going on. Dig deeper, and head to counselling posthaste.
Again, I want to be clear that there are issues that go way deeper than small resentments. Big stuff like adultery and chronic gambling and huge heartbreaking dishonesty. It’s not my place to tell you whether you should stay married or not, or whether your spouse can change or not.
But I can promise you that keeping small things in perspective and forgiving with a free heart will make you happier. Today. Right now.
Extending grace does not equal allowing ourselves to be treated badly, but it does mean allowing our significant others to be imperfect humans and loving them anyway–with whole hearts, not the grudging, resentful kind. Not just because they deserve it, but because WE deserve it. There is no joy in resentment. So if you can’t do it for him just yet?
Do it for yourself.
This means that I am not going to make a big deal when I see my husband later about the fact that he left me without any milk for the kids cereal this morning. :-) (I know he reads this - love u babe x)
Lou x
It was Mikes day off today anyway, which was handy as he whisked me off to Paris for a Romantic Dinner for two...........not.
Although it is nice to do something romantic on this day, it ain't always possible when you have a family, so it is nice to celebrate the day and do nice things together(although I did wear my special red underwear to mark the occasion ;-)
Moving on.
As explained on previous post, we planned on a visit to the Cinema, something we haven't done for a while, and even though we have two children in school, we still prefer to stay away from all the Children's attractions during half term, still getting used to having to visit places when there are tons of other kids around, so we felt the Cinema was probably the least chaotic place.
Anyway, we went to see Tin Tin The Secret of the Unicorn which was very good, and only cost £4.50 for all five of us to get in, special half term offer. Then as we had vouchers on the back of a receipt we went to Kentucky, a favourite for the kids.
Home in the afternoon, tidy up time for a viewing, which went well, but never really can tell whether viewers are interested or not.
In the evening we had James's new favourite dish, Chinese, followed by chocolates that Mike had bought me in a heart shaped box.
We decided not to get a present for each other though, but the chocs were eaten by all of us. We also made our own cards using materials from James's Art and Craft set. Mike did print me out this certificate too
Lol!
I read this wonderful post over at The Happiest Mom about marriage - thought it was worth sharing:-
Six ways to let go of resentments, move past old hurts, and forgive
1) Look at the big picture.
Yes, it’s crazy-making when your significant other doesn’t clean up after himself, or forgets over and over what time the kids’ school bus comes, or overdraws the checking account, or (insert whatever irresponsible or frustrating thing he does here.)
But I have found that I tend to see the stuff that’s right in front of me, and the things in my sphere of notice tend to be: children, cleanliness of house, work.
Jon’s sphere looks different. He notices things like whether there are batteries in the house and whether I’ve updated the security on my computer and whether or not the car has gas. I might not always notice his contributions because they aren’t in my sphere of priority. But that doesn’t mean his sphere doesn’t matter, too.
Our household responsibilities are not always divided up 50/50, and I think it’s unrealistic to expect they ever will be. Life just isn’t neat and tidy like that. Instead, sometimes I give more, and sometimes he gives more. There are a lot of little ways my husband chooses to make my life easier, without complaint, and a lot of stresses he takes on to make our lives better, whether I notice them or not. Sometimes it’s good to take a minute to notice.
2) Be first to apologise.
“But why should I apologise when he’s the one who…”
Because you’ll feel better after you do. Freer. Nicer. Happier.
Because even if you truly believe he’s wrong-er, chances are good you’re at least a little bit wrong, too.
Because apologies tend to have a thawing effect on those cold little hard-packed snowballs of resentment and anger we carry around.
Because if you apologise there is a very good chance he’ll stop feeling the need to clench up and defend himself and throwing his own icy snowballs.
It’s so hard to apologise, especially when we aren’t sure the other person deserves it. But the way I look at it, the apology isn’t just for them, it’s also for me. I need to recognise and acknowledge the part I played so I can move past it.
Apologising makes us vulnerable, and that’s hard sometimes when we’re clinging tightly to our right-ness and hiding behind our anger. But as Sarah so wisely pointed out, “The single, most important thing that has made the difference in our lives is a willingness to be vulnerable.”
3) Ask yourself if this will matter in two days, ten days, a year, or ten years.
I’m guessing 90% of the time, it won’t even matter in two hours.
4) Let your spouse be who he is today, not who he was last month, last year, or last decade.
I have an issue with one of Dr. Phil’s favourite sayings: “The best indicator of future behaviour is past behaviour.” He may be right in a technical, cynical sense, but constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop doesn’t allow us to give others space to change and grow, and it robs us of the ability to trust. I’m not suggesting we all stick our heads in the sand, look past truly heinous behaviour, or allow abusive patterns to continue, but at some point, if somebody is obviously trying and making changes, (even small, slow ones) we have to make a choice to trust unless faced with information that suggests we shouldn’t.
I believe that when you are really in tune with your instincts, you’ll know, on a gut level, if something major is off. Otherwise, go with the information you have at hand, today, right now. Refusing to allow somebody to change, or refusing to acknowledge that change out of fear, is no way to live or share a life with another human.
5) Choose your perspective.
Nobody can make you feel like a maid unless you choose to.
Your spouse’s failure to do the dishes does not necessarily mean he disrespects you.
It’s fair to notice and point out that the dishes aren’t done, but assigning a motive, or accusing others of casting us in a role we’ve created just breeds resentment.
6) Consider the alternatives.
The real alternatives, not the fantasy ones you’ve created in your head.
So, it’s totally unfair that your spouse keeps skipping out on the laundry. You keep talking, griping, pleading; but still, the piles grow and he doesn’t even seem to notice. What are your basic choices?
- Stop doing the laundry entirely and wait to see what happens
- Get somebody else to do the laundry
- Accept that you will be the one doing the laundry for now
- Divorce him
Which is most likely to make you happy?
If the answer is “Divorce him,” have you really thought about what that would mean? (Single people still have laundry to do…)
If you think it through carefully and the answer is still “divorce him,” I’d suggest the problem is not really the laundry. Or the unmade bed. Or the dozens of other little things we use as scapegoats for what’s really going on. Dig deeper, and head to counselling posthaste.
Again, I want to be clear that there are issues that go way deeper than small resentments. Big stuff like adultery and chronic gambling and huge heartbreaking dishonesty. It’s not my place to tell you whether you should stay married or not, or whether your spouse can change or not.
But I can promise you that keeping small things in perspective and forgiving with a free heart will make you happier. Today. Right now.
Extending grace does not equal allowing ourselves to be treated badly, but it does mean allowing our significant others to be imperfect humans and loving them anyway–with whole hearts, not the grudging, resentful kind. Not just because they deserve it, but because WE deserve it. There is no joy in resentment. So if you can’t do it for him just yet?
Do it for yourself.
This means that I am not going to make a big deal when I see my husband later about the fact that he left me without any milk for the kids cereal this morning. :-) (I know he reads this - love u babe x)
Lou x
Monday 13 February 2012
All plans of gardening went out the window in the morning because it was raining, and very cold. James, however, thought differently about it being too cold and rainy and insisted on playing basketball out in the garden.
As my older schoolies had to do their homework, James wanted to do "school work" too. So we picked a few worksheets from his printables, with a Cars and Toy Story - taken from Pre-School Packs at 1 plus 1 plus1 equals 1 He also did some scissor work and shapes
Then it was painting time
(I did the black clouds)
Homework was done, just a few loose ends to tie up before next week, and a nice surprise in the post from the school to say that Becky had been doing exceptionally well in her French Class.
I wish I could say that the rest of the day went well, but it didn't really. We had a few fall outs, it seemed that each child decided to stress me out at various times of the day in a continuous stream. Then I got a call asking could someone view the house on Tuesday (Mikes day off and family time) and I knew I couldn't turn it down, but it also meant a major house tidy in the evening.
So just before bed time I had a major melt. Mike was on a split shift which didn't help as I had no support, but thankfully we all made up before bedtime and they all snuggled in bed with me.
No cups of tea were thrown - at all :-)
Alls well that ends well.
Lou x
As my older schoolies had to do their homework, James wanted to do "school work" too. So we picked a few worksheets from his printables, with a Cars and Toy Story - taken from Pre-School Packs at 1 plus 1 plus1 equals 1 He also did some scissor work and shapes
Then it was painting time
Homework was done, just a few loose ends to tie up before next week, and a nice surprise in the post from the school to say that Becky had been doing exceptionally well in her French Class.
I wish I could say that the rest of the day went well, but it didn't really. We had a few fall outs, it seemed that each child decided to stress me out at various times of the day in a continuous stream. Then I got a call asking could someone view the house on Tuesday (Mikes day off and family time) and I knew I couldn't turn it down, but it also meant a major house tidy in the evening.
So just before bed time I had a major melt. Mike was on a split shift which didn't help as I had no support, but thankfully we all made up before bedtime and they all snuggled in bed with me.
No cups of tea were thrown - at all :-)
Alls well that ends well.
Lou x
Sunday 12 February 2012
Half Term
As my older two children are still getting used to the school routine, we haven't really planned on doing much this week.
Nevertheless, I have all my kiddies at home with me so am going to make the most of it.
They are conscientious kids and want to get their homework done, so I think it would be a good idea to get that done this morning, I have almost washed, dried and ironed (yes, I do ironing now - damn those white shirts) their uniform and PE kit, so will finish that off this morning then I do not have to worry about anything schooly for the rest of the week.
So lie in for them this morning, if James will let them.
I think I will make a start on the garden today, although we have the house up for sale, who knows when it will be sold, so I am going to plant in pots, so when we do move we can take them with us, the soil isn't that good in the ground here anyway (Danny tested it last week, one of his many experiments).
Tomorrow Mike is off, and it will depend on the weather what we do, but as finances are limited this week, I think maybe just an Exeter Day. Museum, Cinema, and Maccy D's. Museum is free, Cinema is £1.50 per child, so should be able to do that for £15, popcorn from Poundland, and it will have to be children's meals all round from MD's. In by train as it is cheaper than parking in Exeter, and it is way more fun.
Wednesday - boring morning, dentist for all three, plus a health visitor visit to check James's progress. Not normally one for these visits, but he has an appointment with his Epilepsy Specialist on the 8th March, so need to get a record of his weight, and also his development.
Think we may have visitors of some kind in the afternoon, you know, those Home Educated families, strange lot that they are :-)
Thursday - Into Exeter again, not for pleasure but for buying clothes for the kids ugh.
Friday - Home Day, maybe more visitors, ex- home edders, as in their kids have grown up, so they are not as bad :-)
Weekend - Maybe a day out on Saturday, Rugby Sunday, and as Mikes day off is on Monday next week and the kids have a Non Pupil Day, we may try to meet up with a home ed group, if they will have us!
Hope you all have a good week.
Lou x
Nevertheless, I have all my kiddies at home with me so am going to make the most of it.
They are conscientious kids and want to get their homework done, so I think it would be a good idea to get that done this morning, I have almost washed, dried and ironed (yes, I do ironing now - damn those white shirts) their uniform and PE kit, so will finish that off this morning then I do not have to worry about anything schooly for the rest of the week.
So lie in for them this morning, if James will let them.
I think I will make a start on the garden today, although we have the house up for sale, who knows when it will be sold, so I am going to plant in pots, so when we do move we can take them with us, the soil isn't that good in the ground here anyway (Danny tested it last week, one of his many experiments).
Tomorrow Mike is off, and it will depend on the weather what we do, but as finances are limited this week, I think maybe just an Exeter Day. Museum, Cinema, and Maccy D's. Museum is free, Cinema is £1.50 per child, so should be able to do that for £15, popcorn from Poundland, and it will have to be children's meals all round from MD's. In by train as it is cheaper than parking in Exeter, and it is way more fun.
Wednesday - boring morning, dentist for all three, plus a health visitor visit to check James's progress. Not normally one for these visits, but he has an appointment with his Epilepsy Specialist on the 8th March, so need to get a record of his weight, and also his development.
Think we may have visitors of some kind in the afternoon, you know, those Home Educated families, strange lot that they are :-)
Thursday - Into Exeter again, not for pleasure but for buying clothes for the kids ugh.
Friday - Home Day, maybe more visitors, ex- home edders, as in their kids have grown up, so they are not as bad :-)
Weekend - Maybe a day out on Saturday, Rugby Sunday, and as Mikes day off is on Monday next week and the kids have a Non Pupil Day, we may try to meet up with a home ed group, if they will have us!
Hope you all have a good week.
Lou x
Saturday 11 February 2012
Muddy Puddles
Braved the weather yesterday to go to the library, and had to stop on the way there and back for James to jump in the puddles
We stayed in the library for a while, James starts off getting out all the Dr Who and Sarah Jane books, then he goes to the opposite end of the scale and gets out of the baby touch and feel books. Then it is over to the teenage section to get out loads of comic strip books, until finally settling on books suitable for his own age (while I run around behind him picking up the books he has discarded, and putting the inappropriate ones back on the shelf - how can a visit to the library be so exhausting - oh yeah - I have a 4 year old!)
He did also pick out some educational ones, about sharks. He has a great fascination for sharks, which is funny because Danny did too when he was around this age. Must arrange a visit to one of the local sea-life centres very soon.
Got home, with only one mini melt down under my belt (incident in Tesco Metro) had our lunch,read some of the books and then watched the old old Dr Who (Tom Baker).
Later we made chocolate fairy cakes with butter icing, which went down a treat. He does like helping out in the kitchen, not just baking cakes, but helping out with meals. Earlier in the week he made a pizza
Looking forward to lots of home baked treats over the next week as it is half term which means Becky will be baking.
Mike hasn't taken this week off for the school holidays, so we are just planning on staying at home.
We do however, have to brave the crowds in Exeter to get some clothes for my ever growing daughter. Having cleared her wardrobe because she has grown to tall for her clothes, she now has one outfit left that is decent and I have a dining room full of black bin liners ready for charity.
Once payday comes round next week we will be making a big dent in it to clothe my poor little girl who has no clothes to wear (unless she wants to wear her school uniform). Seriously though, she has literally grown out of everything, even shoes.
Now - must clear up a bowl of rice krispies that seems to have spread across the whole of the living room.
Lou x
He did also pick out some educational ones, about sharks. He has a great fascination for sharks, which is funny because Danny did too when he was around this age. Must arrange a visit to one of the local sea-life centres very soon.
Got home, with only one mini melt down under my belt (incident in Tesco Metro) had our lunch,read some of the books and then watched the old old Dr Who (Tom Baker).
Later we made chocolate fairy cakes with butter icing, which went down a treat. He does like helping out in the kitchen, not just baking cakes, but helping out with meals. Earlier in the week he made a pizza
Looking forward to lots of home baked treats over the next week as it is half term which means Becky will be baking.
Mike hasn't taken this week off for the school holidays, so we are just planning on staying at home.
We do however, have to brave the crowds in Exeter to get some clothes for my ever growing daughter. Having cleared her wardrobe because she has grown to tall for her clothes, she now has one outfit left that is decent and I have a dining room full of black bin liners ready for charity.
Once payday comes round next week we will be making a big dent in it to clothe my poor little girl who has no clothes to wear (unless she wants to wear her school uniform). Seriously though, she has literally grown out of everything, even shoes.
Now - must clear up a bowl of rice krispies that seems to have spread across the whole of the living room.
Lou x
Friday 10 February 2012
Finding the magic in what we do
I always felt that I had oodles of enthusiasm for being a stay at home mum. I loved Home Educating my children, and always felt that I had a really great life. Ups and downs a plenty of course, but overall I enjoyed what I did.
We were always exploring, experimenting, playing, visiting places of interest, lots of socialising amongst other things. We were free to do so many things, within reason, and we had a great time.
Moving away from the city had a huge effect on our HE lifestyle, and obviously the arrival of our cheeky monkey James did too. But still we carried on, different location, further away from the hub of home ed, more structure needed in our getting out of the house and travelling around with a littlen in tow, but all very doable.
A long story later (which includes Epilepsy, redundancy, financial change, house on the market and a big let down at our HE social group*) and our life has changed. Our eldest two being at High School has left me feeling flat, and a bit disorientated.
I felt that I no longer wanted to go to groups and on HE outings, mainly because I didn't want to leave our town in case Becky and Danny needed me, even though they were at school. I also felt that I just couldn't bear to be at groups without them there, and I felt extremely sad. This also meant that I went out less with James, our little town is great, but there is only so much you can do.
At the weekends our Sundays are taken up with Rugby, and because the older two have been at school all week they like to just stay at home on Saturdays and chill out, something they were able to do a lot of when home edded, but now it is a novelty for them. So even family outings have become a thing of the past.
Home educating a 4 year old is at the other end of the scale tha teaching pre-teens. It was great learning alongside them, getting into topics I had forgotten about since school which seemed more interesting the second time round, planning their education, despite the fact that our approach was always child led, we still had to provide a suitable environment in which they could learn.
So I felt a bit redundant once they went to school. They have tons of homework, but they do it all themselves and do really well. Most of it is project based, which is what they have always been used to doing at home with me, so they have a good sense of organising themselves in this area of learning. The only thing they ever need extra help with is Maths and French, and as Mike is better at both of these subjects than I am, he helps them out, not me. Poor not needed any more and just left on the rubbish heap me! (Violins please).
To add to this we have had a ridiculously mild winter therefore creating a million and trillion bugs which we seem to keep picking up, and it seems we have been ill for the best part of the winter. So staying in, watching TV, eating junk and generally getting more stuck in a rut was inevitable really.
What has changed - I am not sure, time heals they say, so maybe now I am ready to start again, this time with my little boy. Yes my circumstances are different and it maybe harder this time round but I want to be as enthusiastic as I used to be, and to do that I have to realise the importance of what I do, what we all do as mothers, whether it be home educating, or if you have kids at school, its hard work and can get you down, but the good way out weighs the bad, its just taking time to find the magic in what we do.
Yes I will still miss my babies while they are at school, but the time has come for me to get back onto the saddle and start being a Home Ed Mum once again.
Lou x
We were always exploring, experimenting, playing, visiting places of interest, lots of socialising amongst other things. We were free to do so many things, within reason, and we had a great time.
Moving away from the city had a huge effect on our HE lifestyle, and obviously the arrival of our cheeky monkey James did too. But still we carried on, different location, further away from the hub of home ed, more structure needed in our getting out of the house and travelling around with a littlen in tow, but all very doable.
A long story later (which includes Epilepsy, redundancy, financial change, house on the market and a big let down at our HE social group*) and our life has changed. Our eldest two being at High School has left me feeling flat, and a bit disorientated.
I felt that I no longer wanted to go to groups and on HE outings, mainly because I didn't want to leave our town in case Becky and Danny needed me, even though they were at school. I also felt that I just couldn't bear to be at groups without them there, and I felt extremely sad. This also meant that I went out less with James, our little town is great, but there is only so much you can do.
At the weekends our Sundays are taken up with Rugby, and because the older two have been at school all week they like to just stay at home on Saturdays and chill out, something they were able to do a lot of when home edded, but now it is a novelty for them. So even family outings have become a thing of the past.
Home educating a 4 year old is at the other end of the scale tha teaching pre-teens. It was great learning alongside them, getting into topics I had forgotten about since school which seemed more interesting the second time round, planning their education, despite the fact that our approach was always child led, we still had to provide a suitable environment in which they could learn.
So I felt a bit redundant once they went to school. They have tons of homework, but they do it all themselves and do really well. Most of it is project based, which is what they have always been used to doing at home with me, so they have a good sense of organising themselves in this area of learning. The only thing they ever need extra help with is Maths and French, and as Mike is better at both of these subjects than I am, he helps them out, not me. Poor not needed any more and just left on the rubbish heap me! (Violins please).
To add to this we have had a ridiculously mild winter therefore creating a million and trillion bugs which we seem to keep picking up, and it seems we have been ill for the best part of the winter. So staying in, watching TV, eating junk and generally getting more stuck in a rut was inevitable really.
What has changed - I am not sure, time heals they say, so maybe now I am ready to start again, this time with my little boy. Yes my circumstances are different and it maybe harder this time round but I want to be as enthusiastic as I used to be, and to do that I have to realise the importance of what I do, what we all do as mothers, whether it be home educating, or if you have kids at school, its hard work and can get you down, but the good way out weighs the bad, its just taking time to find the magic in what we do.
Yes I will still miss my babies while they are at school, but the time has come for me to get back onto the saddle and start being a Home Ed Mum once again.
Lou x
Tuesday 7 February 2012
Love this
Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.
... Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren’t his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.
The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.
- Ruth Hulbert Hamilton
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.
... Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren’t his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.
The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.
- Ruth Hulbert Hamilton
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